8 Quotes for Insecure Men To Discover Identity
Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
Middle school is a time on our lives that, I believe, we should be able to skip. Those two to three years between 6th and 8th grades are the most awkward years of our lives. We’re growing into our bodies, developing more of our cerebral cortex and discovering different aspects about our personalities that may or may not be valuable discoveries. What I needed was to hear from other men that had the same struggle. I basically needed to discover some quotes for insecure men to provide the confidence I needed to move forward.
One thing that we begin to notice for the first time in our lives in many cases is that there are other people that are more gifted athletically, more attractive physically, funnier and so many other things that lead us down the dark road of chronic self-consciousness. An insecure man is nothing more than a broken man discovering just how broken he is. I want to provide a few of my favorite quotes and bible verses about insecure men in my attempt to help you find joy and freedom from the bondage that insecurity puts on so many of us.
Losing It All
No, I didn’t lose all of my money, my family, my friends or my house. I didn’t lose my dignity or even any possession I owned. However, I did lose the one thing that I never wanted to lose. When I was 22 years old, I made the most difficult decision of my life. This was a decision that opened myself up to fear of judgment in the worst sense. Normal people didn’t do what I was about to do. Yet, here I was. Standing in front of the mirror not fully understanding my personal appearance was about to become the catalyst for a profound sense of self-doubt, I raised my right hand and took the first swipe.
I began going bald in high school. In fact, I lost our state championship basketball game because of male-pattern baldness. It’s true. I was at the the free throw line with a chance to tie the game, and my opponent decided to throw in a Rogaine joke as I was shooting. I heard. Then, as fate would have it, I missed the shot. I digress. When my hair started falling out, I didn’t think much of it. After all, I certainly was not bound by low self-esteem in these early days. I had a good thing going for me. I was a high-level athlete.
As I graduated high school and began my collegiate basketball career, social media was just becoming a thing. In fact, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat weren’t even born yet. Comparison had yet to rear its ugly face. However, that would change in due time.
​Not Who, But Whose
The revolving door of comparison is one the entraps us on a daily basis. I’m not overstating the significance of insecurity and confidence. It’s a daily battle for both men and women. We can read various blog posts about how to develop our physical appearance, create greater human attraction or even show off our highlight reel on social media so that people see us in a more positive light. All of this is complete (insert cuss word here). Confidence comes not from who we are but whose we are.
We only have so much power over comparison in our own lives. We can do things that make us appear a certain way in front of other people. However, it is our identity that ultimately triumphs over fear and insecurity rather than the band-aids people try to mask their problems with. I had endure a chronic lack of confidence for several years when I decided to shave my head at the age of 21. A deep feeling of uncertainty led to unhealthy relationships with other “more physically gifted” individuals, Incessant feelings of insecurity, particularly with ladies, would take once confident person and turn them into a perceived consolation prize for anyone that would end up with me. I became, in my own mind, the dreaded “personality guy”.
It wasn’t until I realized that perfect confidence comes from our identity in Christ that my own low opinion of myself would soon dissipate. The physical shame brought on was merely an afterthought once I discovered that I was made in God’s image. My state of insecurity soon found no place in my life. My innermost insecurities of wondering if I would ever get married, get a job or even be be comfortable in my own skin again soon went by the wayside.
10 Bible Verses to Find Freedom
1. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV): “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
2. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV): “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
3. Psalm 56:3-4 (NIV): “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
4. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV): “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
5. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
6. Psalm 27:1 (NIV): “The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?”
7. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV): “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
8. Romans 8:31 (NIV): “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
9. Psalm 139:14 (NIV): “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
10. Joshua 1:9 (NIV): “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Seeking Identity
​There are several signs of insecurity when it comes to comparison. Constant frustration with a person or a group of people. Avoidance of relationship. Lack of authenticity. Masking your insecurity. Hoping for someone’s downfall. I never experienced any of these, fortunately. No, I experienced all of them at the same time! Insecurity is actually just the manifestation of a deeper issue at hand.
Addressing our deep sense of insecurity starts by understanding that each of us are “called according to His purpose for those that love Him and are called by His name.” Further, we were “knit together in our mother’s womb”. God created each of us uniquely and individually. Comparison has no place in our lives. Now, one thing that I’ve always struggled with, even to this day, is trying to determine where other people’s imperfections lie.
For example, I’m bald. That’s my flaw. My one and only flaw, right? So, if that’s mine, then I have to find that flaw in everyone else too. Maybe it’s a person’s ability to drive everyone crazy by their personality. Or, maybe it’s identifying the childhood trauma of someone and pulling that string a little bit. Or, maybe it’s just that another person has an “everyday job” with no ambition for the future.
You see how ridiculous this sounds, right? This is what we think any time we that spur of insecurity becomes present again. We justify our own selves and own lack of confidence by finding fault in other people just like us – made in His image.
8 Quotes for Insecure Men
1. Charles Spurgeon: “A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.”
2. Max Lucado: “You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.”
3. Timothy Keller: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
4. Billy Graham: “Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.”
5. Oswald Chambers: “We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.”
6. Max Lucado: “God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus.”
7. A.W. Tozer: “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
8. John Piper: “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”
Finding Identity
Ultimately, after years of struggling and fighting through my own insecurity, one of the greatest journeys of my life took a sharp turn in the right direction. I discovered new things about who I was in Christ. I realized that we are all broken people doing our best to survive in a world filled with inauthentic cultures. Social media shows only the best parts of us, while. our conversations revolve around the latest and greatest business dealing or professional accomplishment. Only, I wasn’t a part of those conversations anymore. They had become fleeting. I no longer found identity in what I looked like or what I did professionally. My identify was in whose I was, not who I was.
I was a new creation. I was set apart by Christ. Further, I was His son. These were my titles now. It was no longer I who lived, but Christ who lived in me. It was not my hard work that provided my worth. We can have confidence knowing that Christ created us for His purposes, not our own. You may be bald, fat, skinny, muscular, freckled, white, black and anything in between. You may be left-handed and short. Further, you may be right-handed, tall, and athletic. We were all created by the same God for the same purpose – to bring glory to Him in all things. As naturally insecure men, we must daily fight this battle.
About the Author
John Claborn
Hi! I’m John. Author of the post you just read. I like to write about all things adventure. Mostly things to help people live more adventurous lives and care for their families in a more meaningful way. By day, I’m a COO. By night, I’m a rad dad of 4 kids that I don’t deserve and a husband to a woman I can’t understand how I got. My goal is to show freedom to people through adventure and experiences.
